First, I would like to wish everybody a better 2023! Completely regardless of how your 2022 was, by the way. The Holidays are a strange period for me, as I don’t celebrate Christmas. I also don’t really feel the “We’re starting anew!”-vibe of the new year, especially not since I’m living on an academic timeline again. What do you mean, the end of the year? I’m not even half way through! For me 2022 was part of the 2021/2022 academic year, which went GREAT. 2022 was also part of the current academic year, which isn’t going so well.
Since the summer, when I was shortly admitted to urgent care because I was physically not doing well, after which they changed up my medications, things have been… not ok. I don’t know if it’s the medication changes, or if it’s the backlash of The Pandemic, but things have been extremely mediocre on all fronts. Between September and December, I twice caught a serious cold that stuck around for more than two weeks each. This resulted in me falling behind with my studies to the extend that I’ll have to repeat the class next year.
Back in the day, I would have literally almost killed myself to try and pass the class anyway, but I’m doing this thing called “Learning from your Experiences”. While I am proud of myself for this progress (and progress it is), it is of course highly demotivating to have to drop out of your first class of the year. I have seriously considered throwing in the towel, especially considering the hell that was my BA degree. Despite dealing with an infection in my jaw (for which – fear not! – I’m being treated), I am going to try and do the full time class in January. If I don’t manage to pass that one either, I’ll reconsider my life plans. For the 8 millionth time in my life. No wonder I’m exhausted.
Writing didn’t happen in 2022. Despite not believing in writer’s block, I’m clearly dealing with writer’s block. Everybody and their grandma knows that I have a difficult relationship with writing. This goes from thinking “Why bother?” to actively wanting to burn everything that has any relation to (my) writing, including my laptop. This is not a new phenomenon, I’ve had this intermittently since my high school newspaper days in 1863, but it resurfaces with a vengeance when I’m not feeling my best. As you’re not supposed to make drastic decisions during a crisis, I will post the December 2022 round up this Friday. Reasonably on time for a change.3